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BLOVE

                                              March 17, 1992 

"love is a many splintered thing"

It's really simple: love is           There are different
friendship involving sexual           definitions.  When
contact.                              you say "I love ice
                                      cream!" it doesn't
But maybe it's not all                usually imply any                  
that simple, because                  sexual experiences.     But then,  
since it involves                     But these other         considering 
sexual contact love is                definitions aren't      the way some
assumed to be a                       what you first          women act  
deeper, more serious                  think of.               toward ice 
relationship than a                                           cream, maybe
typical friendship.                                           I'm wrong  
                                                              about this.
There's a very complicated
implied contract involved
assuming certain exclusive
rights, expected behavior, and
a protocol for breaking the
contract.  I've always found
this annoying, because it                (Though, I was
seems to me like the                     talking to some friends of
provisions of the contract               mine about this recently and
aren't open to negotiation in            they didn't understand what I
advance.                                 was talking about.  Everything
                                         can be discussed at any time.
                                         No one is allowed to make any
                                         assumptions.  Right.)

And while there are people who
claim to have merely friendly
sex with no heavy emotional
involvement... the dreaded and
adored "casual" sex.  I'm not
sure I believe in it myself.
Never seems to work out that
way for me, anyway.


How I use the word:

It is very rare for people        It is only slightly less
in my family to say "I love       rare for me to say "I love
you" to each other.               you." to anyone, since I
Expressing emotions is not        tend to think it
exactly our strong point.         ought to be obvious.
                                  Consequently, I usually wind
                                  up saying something like
                                  "Sure, of course I love you."

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