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HOWROTCOD

                                              October 15, 2009
"Torchwood": the Russel T. Davies             November 8, 2009
spin-off from "Doctor Who", a mix             February 6, 2010
of "X-files" and queer propaganda,
with a smarmy "likeable rouge"
pretty boy as the vehicle.

Here you get to watch a crowd of
unlikeable, erratic characters
blunder around over-their-heads
with alien miscellanea on the
excuse that they're preparing
humanity for the 21st century.

They never seem to really learn
anything, and never seem to get
anywhere
                                          I'm inclined to say that they
   No doubt that's                        need to go back to school, and
   realistic.                             learn something about writing
                                          fiction, but that ignores the
   And you know, their                    fact that this show was really
   offices look cool.                     popular. It must've struck a
                                          chord that I don't understand
   And the Cardiff city                   in British culture.
   council would probably
   like to see them all                      John Barrowman (who played
   knighted.                                 Jack Harkness) was apparently
                                             some great sensation over
   Ah, will we ever learn                    there.  Maybe they were
   the truth about                           really ready for some
   Jack Harkness?                            bisexual pretty-boy action.

   Well, actually, we already
   know the truth about him,                          Some dvd-extras reveal
   because we've been watching                        that the creative team
   "Doctor Who"; so it's more                         thought that the big
   a question of "will they                           black SUV was really
   ever learn"-- with all of                          kewl and iconic.
   that added distance....        CHEAP_SUSPENDERS
                                                      If they really like that
   And since there's no                               hot-rod cow, no wonder I
   particular reason for him                          don't follow the rest.
   to hide anything from
   them, whenever they pick                           This is not my culture.
   up another detail it just
   doesn't matter.

       Missed opportunities:

       Torchwood: is it a secret organization "outside
       the government" or is it a famous elite special
       ops group?  When Harkness gets on the phone,
       who is he reporting to?

          A few possible resolutions:

          It could be that Jack Harkness
          is running a con (once again),
          pretending to be operating a
          government agency that no longer
          exists.

          It could be that Harkness is in
          effect a rogue element inside the        Where does Torchwood get
          government, continually exceeding        funding?  Is it working off
          his authority whenever convienient.      of government grants?  Is
                                                   Harkness in the business of
             But why delve into things             selling alien artifacts?
             like that when you can get
             back to growling, hissing
             monsters, and long scenes
             of repetitious emoting?

                                                    A short list of watchable
                                                    episodes:

                                                    The one with the memory
                                                    warping chameleon ("Adam")

                                                    "From Out of the Rain"
                                                    (the ghost circus)

                                                    The pair of 1940s episodes.

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