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SISTER

So, my sister has come and gone.  She did her two weeks in
California and has returned to New York.  I didn't drag her
up Half Dome again this time, instead I concentrated on
finding men for her to meet (which seems to be more what
she's into on her vacations).

I came up with a short list of about three I thought were
suitable:

   Bachelor number one is a recent Stanford grad, working
   as an engineer in the area.  A quintessentially nice
   guy, fun to talk to, a hard core dancer frequently to
   be found on weekends in the clubs in San Francisco.
                       
   Bachelor number two has always impressed the women at
   my place as being pretty cute, he's a grad student in a
   humanties department and something of a musician.
                                                        
   And bachelor number three is a techie grad student who
   plays with computers too much, gets good reviews
   occasionally from some women, and is expected to move
   to the east coast soon.
                                                        
So we've got a dancer, a musician and a soon to be local
boy, and I had some really nasty scheduling problems to work
out.  As well as a delicate problem in issuing invitations
without weirding anyone out.

I got B-1 to come over to dinner the night after she
arrived: something weird happened though, and he started
getting kind of nervous.  Took him a while to relax.  The
three of us hung around together in the city the next
Saturday, and my sister was really impressed with him then
("He's one of the realest people I've ever met.").  But she
wasn't attracted to him.

I took her to a party up in North Beach, where she came up
with some dark horse candidates of her own.  She told me
about some guys she was talking to in the kitchen, (Boston
computer types, I gather) who seemed nice, but once again,
too nervous.  She blew them off pretty quickly, and was off
in the living room dancing with this guy from Stanford (he
claimed to know me from some Stanford parties: evidently
we've both dated the same girl).  This was interesting,
because he was coming on really strong, in what I thought
were some very stupid ways.  Like trapping her against the
wall, leaning on his arms.  Or trying to dance closer and
closer to her as she was continually backing away from him.
But, *this* guy she was willing to give a second chance:
they went out to dinner later in the week, and he may visit
her in New York after he gets through his orals.

The next weekend, we held a party at my place, and she got
to meet both B-2 and B-3 at once.  She really got into
hanging around talking to B-2 late into the night (she was
surprised to hear the next day that he had been one of the
people on my list).  I was glad to see them hit it off, even
though it was too late in her vacation for them to really
spend any time together.  After seeing what happened with
the first guy, I was afraid it was going to be another case
of nice but too shy and wimpy somehow.
 
Also, oddly enough, she was somewhat impressed with B-3's
style though he is not always known for being tough and
assertive.  She said he had seemed like an interesting guy,
and when she heard he was moving to the east coast she said
she probably should've spent more time talking to him.
 
So I scored one or two out of three, I guess, and in general
my sister was impressed with the sheer numbers of men here
in California.  She says she never seems to meet anyone in
New York.  She seems to want to move out here, but I don't
she'll be leaving her job any time soon.

 ---------
  
If there's a moral to this, it is
"Nice guys finish last."  Any trace
of nervousness is grounds for
immediate rejection.  If you're
somewhat obnoxious and overbearing,
on the other hand, you may get a
second chance.              
                            
I`ve seen a number of examples of
macho idiots that women make
excuses for ("deep down, he's a
nice guy.")  I don't think I've
ever heard any one say something
like "He seemed really nervous, I
must have really impressed him."

Notably, my sister also complains
about always getting involved with
men who don't care about her that
much.  I think there's a connection
here.

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