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FOUR_HEARTS

                                             May 26, 2007

Had a dream last night;

Once, I had been in a
relationship with a woman                       This is my history
where we were exchanging                        in the context of
messages doing cute                             the dream, you
things with playing cards                       understand, I'm not
(e.g. writing notes on                          talking about an
them).                                          actual relationship.

I'd made a promise to do something with
the Four of Hearts, which was abandoned
as the relationship faded...


The scene in the dream: one night
(presumably in response to some
invitation), I walked up to an old
building that had been decorated by
this woman, transformed into some kind
of tribute to this exchange of playing
cards: the central motif was oversized
cards fluorescing in the darkness,
under ultraviolet light -- like a
halloween haunted house display.

A pair of cards hung in the doorway,
like western saloon half-doors, there
were cards on all sides of the room, and      The site was like an old
in the center of the floor -- a trap          auto repair garage,
door over a pit? -- the four of hearts.       complete with grease pit
                                              in the center.
   The question then, is "now what?"
   What would you do after walking up
   to this scene?  Do you enter?  Do
   you turn and leave immediately?
                                          One option: pull my (now
                                          constant companion) digital
   A complex of problems: the             camera, and take flash
   elaborateness of this display          photos of the scene before
   is a sign of total madness --          approaching, to try to
   a woman capable of this is             illuminate any booby-traps.
   capable of anything, including
   lying in wait with a gun...


   And yet, this is a style of madness
   that in principle I approve of --             I suspect the influence
   an acting out of obession in art.             of an Avengers episode:

   Can I turn my back on it and just                "The Joker" (1967)
   walk away?  Is that any way to go
   through life, cringing in fear,
   imagining the worst?  Won't I always
   wonder what suprises lurked inside
   this installation, won't I feel
   regret at not examining the art?

   But then: I no longer have any
   interest in this woman, and so                four hearts
   playing along with this game sends            for eyes
   the wrong message, encourages hopes           heart of the problem
   that should be abandoned.
                                                 suits of cards:
                                                   brains
                                                   skulls
                                                   eyes
                                                   mouths


                                                    a good deck:

                                                    angels|eagles|skulls|eyes|gears

                                                       what color,
                                                       the fifth suit?





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