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LONG_CHERISHED_DREAM

                                              August 12, 2006

Emma Goldman, "My Disillusionment In Russia"
(London: C. W. Daniel Company, 1925):
[ref]

    "The strongest of us are loath to give up a
    long-cherished dream. I had come to Russia
    possessed by the hope that I should find a
    new-born country, with its people wholly
    consecrated to the great, though very difficult,
    task of revolutionary reconstruction. And I had
    fervently hoped that I might become an active
    part of the inspiring work."

    "I found reality in Russia grotesque, totally
    unlike the great ideal that had borne me upon the
    crest of high hope to the land of promise. It
    required fifteen long months before I could get
    my bearings. Each day, each week, each month
    added new links to the fatal chain that pulled
    down my cherished edifice. I fought desperately
    against the disillusionment. For a long time I
    strove against the still voice within me which
    urged me to face the overpowering facts. I would
    not and could not give up."

    "Then came Kronstadt. It was the final
    wrench. It completed the terrible realization           Kronstadt:
    that the Russian Revolution was no more."               March 1921

    "I saw before me the Bolshevik State, formidable,
    crushing every constructive revolutionary effort,
    suppressing, debasing, and disintegrating everything.
    Unable and unwilling to become a cog in that sinister
    machine, and aware that I could be of no practical
    use to Russia and her people, I decided to leave the
    country. Once out of it, I would relate honestly,
    frankly, and as objectively as humanly possible to me
    the story of my two years' stay in Russia."

    "I left in December, 1921."

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