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MALE_FEMINISM_TRAP


                                                       May 4, 2017
                                                 February 18, 2019
I have some standard advice
for guys that runs like:

Under no circumstances should you claim
to be a "male feminist": the women will
figure you're scum who'll say anything to    There's a grim irony about sexual
get laid, and the men will think you're a    harassment complaints against
chump for thinking that's going to work.     guys who have self-identified as
                                             "male feminists".  These are not
But then, you can believe in justice         exactly unheard of.
and equality and believe in
supporting it even when it's not
personally to your benefit.


   Though personally, I try not
   to assume that I know                 A particular peeve of mine
   precisely what feminism               is the phrase "third wave",
   means-- the occasional                which I used to associate
   insistance that it's "just            with the "sex positive"
   equal rights for women" is            feminists of the 80s, but
   somewhat disingenous: the             now is more likely to have
   meaning varies with different         something to do with
   people, places, and times.            "intersectionality".

                                            And I try not to assume I know
I have some long standing, though           what someone means by
perhaps relative minor grudges with         "intersectionality" either, but
some of what gets called feminism.          I would take it as a recognition
                                            that racism and sexism are
One example: there are a lot of             overlapping problems.
women who seem to use reasoning like    
"if I don't like something it must            So there isn't any good language
be hostile to women, because I am a           to describe flavors of feminism
woman and I don't like it". If they           the "waves" don't have agreed-on
run into another woman who doesn't            meanings, and adjectives like
agree, then that woman must be lost           "extreme" or "radical" are
in some sort of false consciousness:          typically meaningless rhetorical
all true feminists agree with me,             dodges in need of explicit
because I am a true feminist.                 definition.  Likewise, there
                                              doesn't seem to be any good way
    The periodic attempts at demonizing       of identifying what should be
    pornography are a classic example.        considered "mainstream".

    There's an undercurrent of puritanism         This is a particular example
    that flares up where feminists often          of a broader problem--
    seem to be hostile to any sort of
    sexual behavior.                              Contending with an activist
                                                  movement is dealing with an
       Something that began to                    amorphous social entity--
       bother me back when I was a                it's not even so much a
       teenager in the mid-70s is                 doctrine or an ideology.
       that feminists seemed very                 It might be an evolving
       strong on thou-shalt-nots                  collection of common
       but weaker on any sort of                  slogans, positions,
       guidance on how you're                     rhetorical moves...
       actually supposed to live.
                                                  If you're feeling inspired
       "Consciousness raising"                    to argue with it, you find
       seemed like a cruel trick                  yourself in really awkward
       to play on an already                      territory where you need
       self-conscious teenager                    to defend your perception
       like myself.                               of what it's about, but
                                                  there's no definitive work
                                                  you can quote, there's no
                                                  one handing out membership
                                                  cards, or electing spokesmen.

                                                  You end up arguing on what
                                                  feels like very weak ground:
                                                  "Someone said something dumb
                                                  to me once and they said
                                                  they were a feminist.  Or
                                                  kind-of acted like one."



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