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DREAMS

     
                           In response to a Shedevil question (2/19/92):

Dreams seem to me to be
improvised as they go
along.

Things shift from one thing to another
to satisfy the needs of the current
scene without regard to the history of
what's gone before.
                                        

I find that the character's
in my dreams shuffle
around... my late father
will turn into John
McCarthy, or a sister may               (I remember one dream in   
turn into a girl friend, and            particular where I was     
so on                                   having an incestuous affair
                                        with one of my "sisters"   
                                        except that she looked like
                                        someone else, a girl I'd   
                                        been chasing after...      
                                        This was someone who had   
                                        just been telling me       
                                        something about how she was
                                        in love with her brothers  
                                        and her problem was she    
                                        couldn't find men like     
                                        them.)                     
                           

The setting in my dreams also
shuffle around in the same
way.  

In a recent dream, I was
climbing across the high                                                       
facades of a "religious mall"          (I think this "religious mall" idea     
a place like a shopping mall            is just beautiful: a great piece of 
composed of churches and                satiric commentary... no one I've 
temples of various                      described it to seems to get the       
religions...                            joke though.)                          
        
   But I'm pretty sure the     
   scene started out as a dance
   club, and the nature of the 
   mall changed as this        
   "religious mall" concept    
   emerged.                    
                               

                          Dreams are the first drafts of a hack 
                          writer that can't be bothered to worry
                          about consistency.                    
                                              

--------                                    
HAIR

                              Dream notes: (3/21/92)
     
I had a dream last night, that centered around my image in
the mirror.  My hair was cut much shorter than it is now...
in fact it looks like I'm developing a bald spot.  This
frightens the hell out of me.  I check my image in various
mirrors. It turns out that it isn't just thinning out, it's
coming out in chunks.  What kind of chemicals have I been
exposed to?  I'm going to look like I've been through
chemotherapy.
             
I tilt my head          When I realize all        Consciously, I would
forward to look         my hair is falling        have denied that 
at the bald spot.       out, I feel relieved.     any of this mattered.
It stretches all        I'd rather be a           I've kidded guys 
the way down the        skinhead than just        younger than me 
back of my neck.        another guy with          about their bald
It's perfectly          a bald spot.              spots. 
smooth, like an                                             Just at a guess, 
inverse mohawk.            Fear of                          they didn't think
                           growing                          it was funny.
But you can't see          old.                   
the back of your                                  But then, there 
head this way.           How conventional.        isn't any way that 
                                                  I'm ever going to 
                                                  go bald.  I've got 
                                                  incredibly thick, 
                                                  stiff hair.  I could
                                                  lose half of it and 
                                                  it would just look 
                                                  normal.

(Gotta go. Time for me to go get a hair cut.) 
                                             
--------
ATTACK
                              Dream notes: 7/1/92
                                                  
I'm in a nondescript hallway. Perhaps the
hallway of the Brenner House I grew up in
in Huntington, in New York.   
                              
I'm being attacked by a couch.  Long
reddish, 1950's style: it's the couch we                    COUCH
have on the front porch here in Palo Alto                        
right now.

The couch slides after me, I lay down on             
the ground and put my feet against it.               
Where ever it tries to move, up down    
left or right, I shift my feet to push  
it away.  In this contest, it seems at  
first that it isn't really any stronger 
than me.  I can push it back and hold it             
at bay without too much trouble.  But                
then, my legs start to tire.  I try to               
extend my legs far to lock them and give             
them a chance to rest, but I can't quite             
make it.  After some maneuvering, the                
couch flips up its back end and tries to             
roll over my legs to get at me.  But it              
wedges itself against the top of the                 
doorway I'm lying in.  I smile: I'm free             
now to move and go on the attack.  I                 
break it's "back", doubling it over, but              
I take care to hold it making sure that               
I'm killing it, and not just multiplying              
my antagonists.  It breaks up easily                  (In fact the pieces look
into small pieces.                                    like they really belong 
                                                      to the "library" chair  
                                                      from my old room).      
                                                                              
                                                           CHAIR              
                                                                              
Around the house, I find some odd wires
stretching across walkways in different
places.  I gather they're some sort of
sensors for burglar alarms.  I hope I haven't
disturbed anyone, which indicates I'm awake 
when everyone else is asleep, which isn't
unusual.
        
Later on, my mother is working on one of
our usual huge Christmas trees (now it's
clear we're in the Brenner house).  For
some reason, I have another tree lying on
the ground, already partly decorated.  Why
did I buy it?  We already have one.  My
father thinks I should bring it in with the
other tree, but I decided to drag it down
into the basement to put it up in my room.
I think my father recommends I set up one
of the odd wires I've seen around the                                   
house, saying something about clear                                     
reception? This part isn't clear to me, now                             
or then.                                                                
                                                                        
My younger sister follows me.  I'm lying in                             
a chair in my room (tired?) talking about           This is a dream I had
setting up the tree, I guess.  She looks at         after falling asleep in
something next to me and says something             a chair in my room.  My 
like "Not like that."  I look at it: it's           actual physical posture
the trunk of a Christmas tree with branches         was bleeding into the 
stripped off of it.  I say "that's really           dream.
old." Though I notice it's sprouted some
new green needles: there's life in it yet.
"Why did I do that?"  Shaking my head at
the thought of taking the trouble to strip          STICKS
the branches and save the trunk.  Did I              
want to burn it?  She says "Because Judy             
didn't have a car yet?"  (This is cute, but
doesn't really make sense.  Judy wasn't
even my girlfriend.  I ignore it.)   
                                    
                                    
I get up to bring the tree in.  I see that
a corner of my room has been cleared
already.  My desk has been moved across the     Note: the room is clearly my  
room.  I ask my sister "Did you move my         basement room, nothing to     
desk?"  She shakes her head like she            argue against it: brown wooden
doesn't remember.  I warn her to be careful     paneling, black tile floor,   
of it, because I've had some problems with      grungy with dust and crud in  
poltergeist phenomena lately.  She nods her     the empty corner.  But there  
head.                                           isn't enough clutter in it.   
                                                It shouldn't be that easy to  
                                                completely clear a corner of  
                                                it.  And the books that       
                                                dominate it are not in        
                                                evidence in this dream, though
                                                I don't remember looking in   
                                                their direction either.       
                                                                              
                              
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