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NAME_OF_THE_SAINT


                                              September 28, 2005


  In the beginning, there was Leslie Charteris,
  who as a young man started writing a series of      "Meet the Tiger" (1927)
  stories about a Simon Templar, aka "The Saint".
                                                       SMELL_THE_TIGER_BURN
  These stories are perfectly awful...    
  certainly they're some of the lowest                 
  prose that I'm willing to slide my      
  eyeballs across -- and you may have     
  noticed that they've been rolling around               
  in some pretty disreputable troughs.           
                                                 (Deep cracks?)    

  The Charteris Saint -- let's label him
  that for convenience, if not accuracy --
  underwent many changes throughout the           CHASING_GHOSTS 
  several decades that Charteris (or 
  "Charteris") was writing the stories.
                                                     
  In the early stories he was a very British
  character indulging in much light-hearted
  nonsene babble -- somewhere between Bertie
  Wooster and Peter Whimsey, though not as funny
  as either.

  As time went on, he toned down that act, and became
  more suave/slick... some people say he became more
  American, though I haven't noticed myself --
  perhaps I have a blindspot for such things.

  During that period, Charteris himself was not actually
  writing all of the stories, and since many of his  
  ghosts were reportedly Americans, maybe the shift        E.g. Theodore 
  in tone was inevitable.                                  Sturgeon.


    These stories were very popular, and began
    being translated into other media a decade or
    so after their inception... one of the earlier 
    ones was the George Sanders films.  The Sanders 
    Saint had far more of Sanders in him than
    Charteris, but then the original (I use the
    term loosely) character (I use the term
    loosely) was so thin, one could hardly blame
    him.

    I would guess I like the Sanders Saint the
    best of all the incarnations: all snide
    insinuations and sinister overtones as he walked
    whistling through the dark foggy alleys of noir.

    Perhaps predictably, this is The Saint that no
    one seems to remember.

                          Sanders later went on to
                          do a series of films
                          about a precisely identical
                          character called "The
                          Falcon".  Charteris
                          took the trouble to
                          sneer at these films in
                          one of his stories.

    But then there's another Saint that's even
    farther from the public mind, the Vincent
    Price Saint -- these were a series of radio
    shows, an artform now even more ignored than
    the black and white film.

    The Price Saint was very unusual --
    oily, unctuous (whatever that
    means), almost effeminate.
    An interesting rendition...
                                                      The Man From

    In the 60s, Roger Moore stepped                       UNCTUOUS
    into the slot, doing the television
    version that everyone seems to
    remember as *The* Saint.   
                                               
    It's not an indefensible position          
    to insist that the Moore Saint is           Reportedly,  
    definitive.  Physically he was              Charteris    
    pretty close to the way the Saint           liked Moore's
    was described, and the arch, blank,         version best.
    innocent expression he used so          
    often -- maybe it was his only         
    expression really -- had something    
    in common with the Charteris             
    stories.                           
                                         
                      In the early days, The Saint
                      was a con-man who conned con-men,
                      and his ability to project an
                      innocent lamb aura was one of
                      his main assets.
                                            
                                         Notably, the Roger Moore Saint    
   There was another                     was a person with no visible    
   television Saint,                     means of support.  To an      
   the Ian Ogilvy,                       American audience he seemed    
   which I refuse to                     like a very odd character --    
   say anything about.                   what did this man do for a    
                                         living?  The idea that he was 
                                         a crook who preyed on crooks  
   Then in the 90s there                 was apparently too edgy for   
   was a somewhat problematic            television, and instead you   
   filmed version of the                 were supposed to assume he was
   Saint, starring Val                   independantly wealthy.        
   Kilmer.                               
                                                               
   Everyone really hated
   this film, and I spent 
   some time puzzling
   out why...

   There are many things
   one might dislike about
   it -- it's portrayal of
   the process of science          The Toadkeeper called
   is laughable, it's portrait     this "the worst movie
   of a female scientist           he'd ever seen", and
   is embarrassing.                I'd guess this is why.

      
   There are other things one might         
   like about it -- with Kilmer, the 
   Saint has become a man of many 
   disguises, many identities, though    
   his affectation is to always adopt         
   the name of an official Saint (i.e          
   a Catholic one).  In some sense he              
   has no fixed identity, certainly he          This "orphan"    
   has no given name -- his new                 bit was probably    
   history is that he escaped from an           suggested by    
   orphanage at an early age, assuming          a few lines 
   the name Templar out of a                    from the stories.   
   fascination with tales of knightly           
   adventure.                                   At one point,   
                                                the Saint talks  
   The Saint breaks into the female             about donating     
   scientist's apartment, studying              the proceeds of    
   her environment to infer what                a crime            
   kind of person she is, and which             to his favorite    
   of his characters he needs to                charity: a fund     
   assume to win her over.                      for orphans,       
                                                meaning himself.   
       Dangerbaby was impressed                                     
       by the wild leather boy                                      
       persona Kilmer used for                                  
       this role -- and I suspect
       a lot of people's reaction             
       to the film is cultural,            As for myself, Val            
       a difference in background          Kilmer, will always            
       that determines how you             have a positive glow           
       react to that particular image.     about him because of           
                                           "Real Genius".          
                                                    

   But the main thing that conditioned
   the response to this film, the reason
   that almost *no one* had a good word
   to say about is simple: they wanted
   more Moore Saint, and got Kilmer Saint
   instead, and so went off complaining
   about how inauthentic this rendition
   was...


        But what constant factor *is*
        there that you can point to in
        this long, slow evolution of this
        astoundingly minor character?

        At no point was The Saint ever
        really much more than lightly
        sketched in (a stick figure indeed).
        
        Why would anyone declare        
        that one version is the 
        one correct one?            
         
        And conversely, why would anyone
        bother to do yet another media
        production under this name...
        why not another "Falcon", why
        not invent some new handle?
         
         
          As properties go the Saint is the trashiest,
          thinnest piece of cardboard imaginable...
         
         
             What is there to the name of the Saint?
         
         
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