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CELLPHONES


                                             May 30, 2009
                                       Rev:  May 27, 2012

An old classic with me,
the anti-cellphone rant,           From a version posted to
in summary:                        alt.gothic, based on many a
                                   half-remembered report in the
                                   popular press.

People who talk on them
irritate everyone around
them.                         I remember seeing a study demonstrating
                              that overheard conversations are more
                              annoying if you can only hear one side.

         Thankfully, this point seems to
         have sunk in, and an ettiquette       Some people refuse to
         has evolved to minimize this.         get the word, though:
                                               "... we're *building
                                               a team to leverage our
They don't work terribly                       core competency and get
well as phones-- sound                         in on the ground floor
quality is frequently so                       in the educational
choppy and garbled that a                      video market ... "
simple message can take
twenty minutes to get         Hence, texting               Cellphone jammers
across.                       has caught on,               made the top-10 in
                              even in the US.              the google zeitgeist
                                                           recently.


The messages they're used for
typically aren't necessary--
people are nervously checking       Without the cellphone,
each other's movements,             you'd just make the date,
confirming and re-confirming        and you'd all just be there
plans.                              or not-- with it, everyone
                                    stalls on settling on a
                                    plan, and then feels free
                                    to change it at any point.

When people started carrying                  I pointed this out to a 20-ish
cellphones, they praised them                 person recently.  He seemed
for letting them get out of the               stunned and amazed, very
office, but that's wrong: they                intrigued at the thought of
will never be out of the office               a world where you'd just say
again, for the rest of their                  "meet me at the bar at seven".
lives: it will follow them
around wherever they go.


Ubiquitous cell phones are becoming
the defacto standard for emergency
communications, with pay phones (or
any sort of police call box or manual
fire alarms) falling into disrepair--

But cell phones actually don't work
all that well, even for emergency
purposes (certainly, they're easily            The presumption that you
overwhelmed in large-scale emergencies).       need to pay regular fees
                                               to a cell phone company
                                               to be a real citizen is
                                               disturbing.

                                                          MORE_OR_LESS
Cellphones are dangerously distracting to
a level that people to this day still
refuse to credit-- talking on a cell phone
while driving is "as dangerous as drunk      The laws against driving with a
driving", but like drunk driving, the        hand-held phone are the kind of
drunk always thinks they're good at it,      "anti-cellphone" rules only a
and it's just those other drunks you need    cellphone company could love: they
to worry about.                              encouraged people to buy new
                                             equipment without actually
                                             restricting use, though what the
                                             studies actually show is that
                                             *talking on the phone* is severely
                                             distracting, it has nothing to do
                                             with tying up one hand.


                                                     And the cops can't
                                                     be bothered to enforce
                                                     these laws, anyway.


For many people, it's pretty clear that
cellphones are an addictive technology--
they act like their identities are
going to evaporate if they spend a few
minutes without talking to someone;
They go staggering around in public
with eyes glazed over.

                                            I'm skipping the fear that
                                            brain damage may be induced
                                            by the microwave radiation
                                            that cellphones emit, on the
                                            assumption that the more
                                            recent reports are correct,
                                            and the early warnings were
                                            baseless.

                                       It is, however, a telling point
                                       that *absolutely no one* wanted
                                       to hear those early warnings--
                                       there were researchers who
                                       claimed they had rat data showing
                                       damage to 2% of all brain cells.

                                       If factoids like that were floating
                                       around about nuclear power plants,
                                       people would still be repeating them,
                                       and any attempts at retracting them
                                       would be dismissed as industry
                                       propaganda.





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