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CRITICAL_FASHION
November 5-8, 2004
Critical Mass, Halloween 2004
FASHION_REPORTER
All the usual stuff is on display, freak wigs,
and faeries, super-heroes and tutus...
One person road a bike tricked out to look like a
battleship named the "Condoleeza Rice".
There was a guy riding naked, save for shoes and
cowboy hat.
Brides with ghost grooms on the back.
A woman doing a classic broom-riding witch,
the broom mounted on her cross-bar (Obvious, in retrospect,
why have I never seen
*that* done before?).
One of my favorites: A woman in
short-black skirt, with horizontal
striped nylons. I am a man of I think it's funny that when I go
simple tastes. out looking for something new and
interesting, it's often the
There was one fellow in a green same-old that catches my eye.
dinosaur outfit, the dinosaur
head rising up high over his bike Of course, this effect is not
helmet. unusual in the arts in general.
When most people listen to a "new"
Dangerbaby, always piece of music, what they want to
sensitive to proportion, hear is a re-tread of one of their
points out this dinosaur old favorites.
had a rather pin-headed
appearence, looking more There's two ways you can
like some sort of giant go from there:
green slug on wheels...
(1) you presume that
there's a reason the
classics were classic, and
embrace an art of subtle
variation.
(2) you make an effort to
break out of your rut, to
try to hear the really new
with a fresh set of ears
that didn't grow up on
Elton John and Billy Joel.
At one point:
A cluster of cyclists in pink hang
around a car totally stuck in mass
traffic. A girl in a pink fairie
costume asks the driver if she can
play his horn... she leans in the
window bouncing on the car horn,
kicking her leg up and down, while
a guy in a fuzzy pink fake-fur
head-to-toe outfit blows a loud
duckcall-style horn, not exactly in
time.
Some photos:
http://www.indybay.org/news/2004/10/1702096.php
http://www.indybay.org/news/2004/10/1702223.php
Bike costumes in general are a difficult genre.
Unless you gamble on riding without a helmet (not
a good idea at the chaotic critical mass, I've
seen people get hurt that way), you're stuck
trying to find a way to incorporate this weird
bulky helmet, which in theory you're not supposed
to mess with too much (or you will harm the
integrity of it's great scientific design, you
know).
Unrestricted vision is a necessity of
course, so that let's out masks or even One of my favorite games, should
veils; unrestricted mobility is also I happen to end up in Soma on
required and you can't be too sure if weekend evening, is to count the
you're going to sweat or freeze, San south bay girls in club wear
Francisco weather being what it is. doing the "I am freezing" walk:
arms crossed, hugging themselves,
So, you get giant bulbous fluffy headed prancing in their high heels,
creatures. You get funny hats. And of bringing their knees up a little
course, you get many a feather boa, much higher than usual to try to get
face makeup, and in general lots of more speed out of their mincing
brightly colored whacky wear. little steps.
One popular maneuver (and not just for
cyclists) is the "faerie" concept. You COSTUME
strap on a set of oval wings, and that
immediately justifies any glitzy/glam As long as the wings are no wider
thing you might feel like doing. than the handle-bars they won't
interfere with other riders, and
Sometime I'm going to have to do you probably even get a safety
try being a Dimetron. A large fin advantage out of wearing them:
growing out of your back would seem cars trying to pass you might
to be doable, much in the same way understand how much space you
as a faerie costume. need. There's a problem with car
drivers getting the idea that a
(A pin-stripe suit with a shark bike is only as wide as the back
fin coming out of the back? That tire.
*must* have been done.)
WINGS_OF_DANGER
One advantage that the cyclist has
over the pedestrian though, is a set
of wheels to carry things on-- as with
the aforementioned battleship.
I often go out riding with "Mr. Bones"
a life-size (almost) skeleton, swinging I got a lot of use
a traditional grim reaper scythe over out of this thing
it's head-- except that actually the over the years
scythe is mounted on the back of my before it finally
bike, and Mr. Bones is really dangling deteriorated: not
from it on fishing line. He bounces bad for a $5 buy
around in a convincing way while the from MacFrugals--
bike is in motion: I'm out there, though the plastic
riding with death. halloween scythe
was a full-price
retail buy, maybe
as much as $15.
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