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RUSSIAN_PLOT


                                              March 21, 2005


   
There are many places    
where John Dickson Carr           UNLIKELY_CONFESSION
sneers at Russian novelists.                  
                     

A long rant by Dr. Gideon Fell in "The Eight of Swords" (1934), 
Chapter 19 "A Highly Probable Story", p.212-213:          
           
  "Dr. Fell blinked at his cigar.  'But that's quite right,
  nevertheless.  It wouldn't be true to life.  It wouldn't
  be true to life, for instance, if a modern novelist
  devoted to motives for murder the same profound and
  detailed analysis he devotes to little Bertie's early life
  among the dandelions, or the sinister Freudian motives
  behind his desire to kiss the housemaid.  Humph.  When an
  inhibition bites a man, it's a fine novel.  When a man up
  and bites an inhibition, it's only a detective story.'"

  "'The Russians--' said J. R."

  "'I knew it,' said Dr. Fell querulously.  'I was afraid of
  that.  I decline to discuss the Russians.  After long and
  thoughtful reflection, I have come to the conclusion that
  the only adequate answer to one who begins rhapsodizing
  about the Russians is a swift uppercut to the jaw.  ... '"

                                                
                Now me, I was pleasantly surprised 
                by "War and Peace": one of the few                       
                "Greatest Novels Ever Written" that                        
                lives up to it's reputation.                              
                                                       WAR_AND_PEACE 

  "'Besides, I find it absolutely impossible to become
  passionately interested in the agonies and misfortunes of
  any character whose name ends in 'ski' or 'vitch.'  This
  may be insularity.'"
     
     Well, could be.

  "'It may also be a disturbing sense that, from what I read,
  these people are not human beings at all.'"
                                             
     No, right the first time.

  "'Ah, God,' said Dr. Fell musingly, 'if only somebody would
  make a bad pun! If only Popoff would say to Whiskervitch, 'Who
  was that lady I seen you with last night?' Try to imagine a
  conversation, in the after life, between Mark Twain or Anatole
  France and any of the leading Russians, and you will have some
  vague glimmering of what I mean.' "        
                                             
                                                          
                                                             Penguin paperback  
     Tolstoy, "War and Peace", Book I, p. 41":               edition translated 
                                                             by Rosemary Edmunds
                                                               
       " 'They are regular bandits, Dolohov especially,'       
       replied the visitor.  'He is the son of Maria           
       Ivanovna Dolohov, such a worthy woman, but there!       
       Can you imagine it-- the three of them somehow got      
       hold of a bear, took it in a carriage with them and     
       set off to visit some actresses.  The police hurried    
       to interfere, and they seized a police officer, tied    
       him back to back to the bear and then threw the bear         
       into the Moyka.  And there was the bear swimming             
       about with the policeman on his back!"  'What a             
       figure the officer must have cut, my dear!' cried           
       the count, helpless with laughter.  "                         
                                                                    
                                                                   
                                                                    
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   
                                                                   




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