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BICYCLES


                                                April     2, 2001
                                      March 24, November 10, 2004
                                      February 10, July  23, 2007

Weirdly enough, I find myself in the position
of bike ambassador to Silicon Valley.  Bike
commuters are rare enough that I'm the first
serious bike commuter that a lot of people
have met.  So there are a bunch of people I
know who seem to be going from the "maybe I
should get a bike someday" mode to the "what
kind of bike should I get?".

The trouble is that they're
asking me this question.

So I'm going to write down
what I know, have heard, and
further theorize about bike
equipment.

A brief history of bikes:

Once upon a time, every kid was
outfitted with a fairly simple bike:
you were expected to sit upright on
it, it had a single, fixed gear
ratio, and you pedaled it backwards
to stop: these days these are called
"Cruisers".

Then there came the 10-speed, and
everyone wanted to own these               On the influence of sports and
relatively fancy bikes which I gather      sport fashion on technology:
were more-or-less originally intended
for road racing... I'm going to call       Someone produces an innovative
these "road bikes".                        technology for some sort of
                                           extreme, artificial, sport
Then sometime after that,                  situation, then it becomes
there came the invention of                stylish to sport your "sport"
the "mountain bike", which                 equipment in non-sport
was built a lot more                       situations, then people come
ruggedly, with some lower                  up with more moderate versions
gears for hill-climbing, and               that are cheaper and more
fatter, usually knobby, tires              practical, but these quickly
for off-road riding.                       become un-sexy and people are
                                           ripe for the next invasion of
Mountain bikes became very popular,        sportiness.
but most of them never saw the side
of a mountain, which probably is what         The tech that spins off from
inspired the invention of the                 sport sometimes strikes me
"hybrid" (a mix between the "road"            as a great innovation, but
and "mountain" styles), which is the          quite often it seems majorly
kind of bike I've been riding for             silly.  E.g. multiple-gears
over five years.                              are great, but the
                                              light-weight tin-foil racing
   What I want to talk                        wheels that we were stuck
   about here is bikes for                    with before the "mountain
   commuters, i.e. for                        bike revolution" were a pain.
   transportion (sometimes
   called "transpo" bikes).

   This is largely ignored
   by the industry.  The
   transpo bike is a tool,
   not a toy: this is a
   strange concept to them.


Let's consider my hybrid,
with which I have a love-hate
relationship.  It's fairly
ordinary... it cost about
$350 new, way back when,
which makes it a decent but      I probably spend that much
relatively cheap bike.           again on repairs for it
                                 every two years or so.
I have many
complaints                                    A frustrating situation:
about this                                    replacing the drive train
thing:                                        is only slightly cheaper
                                              than replacing the whole bike.
   (1) Straight-across handlebars.
                                                      Economies of scale work
   It's a pretty well known ergonomic                 with you on the initial
   fact (one of the great discoveries                 purchase, but against
   of the computer industry), that                    you on most replacement
   it's a bad idea to hold your hands                 parts.
   in front of you palms down for a
   long period of time.  Just as with                 The sad fact is that
   flat-keyboards from the pre-ergo                   most bikes aren't
   days, the straight-across bike                     ridden enough to need
   handle bars that the mountain bike                 these repairs.
   revolution has subjected us to
   force you to do just that.

   (2) Lean forward posture.

   But long before the "mountain"
   bike, we were subjected to a fad
   from the road-racing world for
   leaning forward on your hands to
   reduce your wind resistance.

   So we all go about supporting our
   weight on our hands as we go
   bumping along the road, typically
   without any shock absorption
   except for our wrists.

   (3) No chain guard.

   My bike came without any chain guard
   whatsoever, not even one of those
   diminutive little rings next to the
   big chain ring.  Looking around, it
   seems to me like about half the
   hybrids out there are sold like this.

      Wanna make some easy cash?  Find a sleazy
      trial lawyer to partner with, and arrange
      an accident where your pants cuffs get
      stuck in the gearing.  With any luck
      you'll get an old-fart of a judge that       Name another piece of
      remembers riding a cruiser around when he    consumer equipment with
      was a kid.                                   completely exposed gearing
                                                   next to the user's clothes.

   (4) In general, many necessities are optional.

   In addition to the problems of chain
   guards, it's fairly difficult to use
   a bike as transport without the
   following "options":

      Some sort of attachments to carry
      stuff: it used to be common to have
      baskets on the front (sometimes the        As is not uncommon,
      rear sides), now tiny flat beds on         the current standard
      the back of the bike are favored.          is nearly useless
      But even that doesn't come standard        for any practical
      with the bike.                             purpose:

      Fenders, especially a                        That tiny rear
      rear fender to keep                          flatbed is
      your back wheel from                         pointless        E.g. the
      shooting muddy water                         compared to a    bag of
      up your butt when it's                       front basket.    groceries
      raining.  (Sometimes that                                     problem.
      flat bed isn't big enough.)                    So of course,
                                                     the basket is
      Head-light and flashing                        regarded as
      tail-light.                                    old-fashioned
                                                     tech.
      Helmet                                                   No cool person
                                                               will be caught
      Water bottle                                             dead with it.
      and cage to        All water bottles sold for
      carry it.          this purpose are useless
                         unless you enjoy the
      Rear-view          flavor of plasticizers.     Re-use a one-liter
      mirror                                         soda bottle instead
                                                     (e.g. seven-up or
      Simple repair                                  club soda... cola
      tools -- tire                                  flavor makes the
      pump, patch                                    water taste almost
      kit, maybe a        First aid kits             as bad as the
      spare tube,         aren't a bad               cola does).
      etc, (the bike      idea, either.
      analog of the                                      Periodically, you
      car-jack).                                         need to throughly
                                                         wash these soda
      "Toughies" (kevlar                                 bottles *and let
      tire inserts) or                                   them dry*.
      possibly puncture        After all, why
      resistant inner tubes    would you want the            The drying is
      if you can find them.    tires themselves              the hard part:
                               to be able to                 vapor likes to
      And of course: locks.    resist a puncture?            recondense
                               What a frivolous              inside the
         That's plural.        weight addition               bottle.
         You need to lock      that would be.
         the front and back
         wheels and frame,         Interesting thing
         and maybe the             about toughies:
         seat...                   because they're not
                                   integral to the tire,    (Feb 10, 2007)
         BIKE_SAFELY               there's always a         Thankfully,
                                   ridge where the two      toughies seem
                                   ends meet, and           to be going
                                   sometimes *that*         out of style,
                                   wears through the        in favor of
                                   inner-tube.              kevlar-belted
                                                            tires.  It's
                                                            about time.

    It might be unrealistic to think
    that all of the above items could
    or should be made standard, but I
    think a strong case can be made
    that consumers are getting                A car-buyer does
    screwed by an artificially                not need to remember
    lowered up-front price.                   to buy rear-view
                                              mirrors, headlights,
    Anything that you buy as an               windshield wipers
    optional attachment is going to           and a trunk.
    lack the economies of scale that
    make a mass-produced bike fairly                     Note: all of
    cheap.                                               these would
                                                         be superfluous
    Everyone knows that building a                       on a racing
    custom bike from raw parts is                        vehicle.
    horrendously expensive compared
    to buying a new bike.

    If you're buying a transpo biking system,
    you're stuck doing exactly that kind of
    custom assembly, where the "bike" is just
    one component.

(5) Bike brakes are terrible.  Consider
the difference in mass between a bike and
a car, and consider the fact that they
have roughly the same stopping distance.
Is this because bike brakes have to be
light-weight devices?  Nope: it's because
bike riders have their centers-of-gravity          Note: there's a trick
jacked up and pushed forward over the              to stopping short on
front wheel.  If the brakes were any               a diamond frame bike:
good, people would fly over the front              get your butt off of the
handle bars when they tried to stop.               the seat, and crouch down
                                                   behind it, with your sternum
Recumbent bikes make a lot more                    almost touching the seat.
sense in this respect.
                                                   Then you can get away
                                                   with really slamming the
                                                   brakes, even if you're
                                                   going down hill.

There are some other points I can add...
in general there's a problem with the
expectation that most people are cycling
for sport rather than transportation.

The bikes themselves
are often not very        Over the years, whenever
durable (they don't       my hybrid needed repairs,
have to be: most          I'd replace the parts
people buy them and       with the beefiest ones I     Heavy walled wheels,
throw them in the         could find...                heavy tires, heavy
garage).                                               gears... then I
                                                       broke the frame, had
                                                       to have it replaced,
And bike clothing tends to                             and then I broke it
be made out of plastic                                 *again*.
fabrics that start reeking
after you use them even                                The first time it
once... a week's worth of                              was under warranty
wear and they're positively                            A year later I
foul.                                                  broke that one.

   If there's something                                   (Actually, if you
   that you absolutely                                    care really I broke
   have to have when you                                  the "dropouts", the
   ride -- bike shorts;                                   hooks which hold the
   a polar fleece                                         rear wheel. These are
   jacket, gloves -- you                                  welded into the
   better have more than                                  frame, and they seem
   one set (in fact five                                  to have a tendency to
   or more wouldn't be                                    break at the weld.)
   out of line).



Another thing I could gripe about:
the old toe-clip problem. First of
all, the basic peddles that come on
most bikes are clearly sub-optimal:
You can push down with the front
foot, but not pull upward with the
rear one; and even worse, your feet
tend to slide off the peddles if
you push forward.

So what do you do?  The traditional
solution is toe-clips: these are
insanely dangerous for urban
cycling.  They take a lot of
practice to learn to insert your
feet into when you're getting
started (and you need to do this at
every light) and if you have to do
an emergency stop, Good Fucking
Luck.  If you're slow about getting
a foot out and on the ground, it's
really easy to flop over and
mess up a wrist when you land.

Ah, but modern bike technology has a
solution!  *Special shoes* and special
peddles that clip to the bottom of the
shoes.  I haven't tried these, but:

(a) in general, the idea that you need
to completely change your outfit when        Even helmets are a little
you want to ride your bike is a loser        dubious.  You're probably
for transportation cycling.  It's bad        better off with a helmet
enough you've got to waste time on the       than without; but if the
lock-up procedure.                           need to buy a helmet and
                                             lug it around with you
(b) They look really dorky.  And yes,        discourages you from
I've seen the ones that are supposed         riding, you'd be better
to pass for ordinary street shoes:           off just riding and going
they look like *really dorky* ordinary       without.
street shoes.
                                                The health benefits
   For this one, there *is*                     of the exercise
   a pretty good solution                       vastly outweigh any
   out there though:                            risk of head injury.
   there's a product called
   "mini-clips", that are                          Which is why helmet
   like slightly beefier                           laws for kids are a
   plastic toe-clips                               bad idea:
   without the straps.
   They don't grab your                               You pass a helmet
   feet anywhere near as                              law, the kids don't
   tightly as the regular                             get helmets, they
   toe-clips, so they take                            just stop riding.
   much less practice to
   learn to get a foot into
   them.  And they're a
   hell of easier to get
   your foot out of.
                             This is one more item
                             for the "too bad it's
                             not standard" list.



One more gripe, though: My bike
originally came with plastic peddles.
They worked okay, but after years of
heavy riding, they wore out.

So, I go into a spiffy bike shop, and
after being subjected to their spiel
in favor of the dorky shoe system,
they finally agree to put a set of
regular peddles on the bike.
"You're going to really like these"
they tell me.  "These are really good."

It turns out they outfitted me
with these insanely sadistic
spiky sharp metal peddles,
reminiscent of racing cleats
on shoes, except that these
are pointed at your body.
                                         Actually, that's
Don't screw up getting on the            still another complaint
bike, or they'll scrape your             I've got, though I
shin off.  Careful walking the           don't know that there's
bike, it's *distantly possible*          a reasonable solution:
you might slam your shin into            Often, you *need*
one of those peddles, eh?                to get off your bike
                                         and walk it.  Oops,
                                         forgot your shin guards,
                                         didn't you?



Another complaint, in two parts:

(a) Every beginning cyclist, when
they want to park for just a              Caveat: there's a simple
minute, tries leaning the handle          trick for temporary bike
bars against something.  This             parking: you prop the seat
only works for a moment, before           against something, *not*
the bike suddenly decides to fall         the handle bars.  Lean the
over.                                     *back* of the bike, let the
                                          front do whatever it wants.
(b) When you need to walk up a stair-
case with your bike, you pick it up
by the cross-bar and throw it on your
shoulder.  The smart cyclist keeps it
pointed nose-down so that the front
wheel stays pointed straight ahead.
If by some strange chance the outside
handlebar should brush something, the
wheel swings to the right, then           This is one of the better
pendulums back to the left, and           arguments in favor of wearing
the inside handle bar smashes you in      a helmet.  If you remember to
the face.                                 keep your head down, the
                                          handle-bar hits the helmet,
  Both of these points result             not your face.
  from the same oddity of
  standard bike design:
  Some time (when the bike isn't
  in motion), twist your
  handlebars all the way, look
  at how far you can turn them.
  On most bikes you can flip
  them around almost 180
  degrees before the wheel hits
  the bike frame.

  Think about that for a moment.
  Is there any reason at all for
  that wheel to be able to do that?

    The obvious fix -- for
    point (b), at least --
    is to add some stops to           Even 90 degrees seems excessive,
    keep the wheel from               but every so often that's helpful
    turning more than, say,           when you need to spin the bike
    90 degrees.                       around in a tight space (e.g.
                                      on Caltrains).
    It wouldn't be that hard
    to have some kind of
    spring that tends to
    return the wheel back to     Also, this would
    the center position.         probably make the
                                 bike more stable
                                 when trying to ride
                                 with out hands.

                                           (Yeah, I know, that's not
                                           recommended.  If I haven't
                                           planned ahead and put tissues
                                           in my shirt pocket, letting go
                                           of the handle bars for a
                                           moment is almost inevitable
                                           while I dig them out.  And the
                                           need for tissues is a given on
                                           cool night-time rides.)
And still another complaint
(I've given up counting):

Consider the freewheel.  These days, it
seems like there's a competition to
squeeze lots of gears on to it, so you
can advertise an umpty-seventeen speed
bike.  The trouble is that a lot of
these gears are so close together in
size that there's not much of a change
in gear-ratios when you change gears.

But gear-ratios are the name of the
game, specifically a *wide-range* of
ratios, rather than necessarily a large
number of them.  I want a really small
back gear for fast road riding, and a
really humongous granny gear for hill
climbing, and a few in between for
accelerating from a stop.

My theory is that this notion
(coarse-grained gear-ratios) is a
hard order to fill with the current
style of derailleur and freewheel.
The freewheel has to approximate a        I suggest that this
cone, so that the derailleur can          means it's time for a
slide the chain sideways across it.       new technology in bike
                                          transmissions...

                                               Good luck getting a
                                               new idea established,
                                               though.

                                                  "Economies of scale"
It's long past                                    are in effect a subsidy
time that I should                                for the status quo.
experiment with a
second bike.                                         The one crack in that
                                                     wall: break into the
                                                     market as a "luxury
                                                     good", e.g. sell it as
Given the fact that I've been                        high-end sporting
whining about the inadequacies of                    equipment.
diamond frame bikes for years,
maybe it's about time I try
something totally different, huh?

Which would lead us to a
discussion of the "recumbent"
bicycle (aka "'bents").
                                     (February 10, 2007)
I like the idea of recumbent bikes
a lot.  Not only do they fix all of
the posture problems mentioned               Power output:
above, you get less wind resistance          on a diamond frame
and more power output from them.             bike the maximum
                                             amount of force on
   Note: bicycle speed records are           a peddle is the
   now universally won by recumbent          weight of the rider.
   riders.  You would *think* that
   this might create a fad for                     On a recumbent,
   recumbents, and they would become               the rider's back
   ubiquitous, and later cheap.                    is braced, so the
                                                   maximum force is
       Clearly this isn't happening.               larger, limited
       I, of course, have a theory:                only by muscle
       On a diamond frame bike, the                strength.
       rider is always in a sexually
       dominant position.  On the
       recumbent, it's a sexually
       submissive posture.              This, of course, is
       It's a symbolic issue that       not what anti-recumbent
       conflicts with the macho         people tell you the
       athlete pose.                    trouble is, though.

          You might think                  They like to claim
          that women might                 that it's a safety
          have less of a                   issue: recumbents      The trouble
          problem with this.               are less visible       with this
                                           because the rider's    argument
          If so, they're not               head is a lot lower.   is that
          driving the market,                                     this isn't
          as of yet.                                              true.
                                      It's possible
                                      that I might            And conversely
                                      agree that              diamond frame
                                      'bents have             riders don't
                                      practical               do all that
                                      problems if             much to
                                      I experimented          improve their
                                      with them more.         visibility.

                                      I suspect that          E.g. why not
            (March 24, 2004)          they make it            reflective mylar
                                      a little harder         handlebar tassles?
  So, for a long time I was           to look over your
  toying with the idea of             shoulder, and              Oops, not
  buying a "Bike E" recumbent,        getting a foot             macho.
  but for various reasons             down when stopped
  didn't get to it... and now         might be more                Sorry.
  I believe they're actually          awkward.
  out of business.
                                         Possible
  These days I'm riding a                solutions:
  basic mountain bike with
  some shocks on the front               (1) lots of mirrors.
  forks.                                 (2) recumbent tricycles!

                 (November 10, 2004)

        Review of the Mountain Bike:
        seems really sluggish compared
        to my old hybrid.  Probably I
        need to lose the knobby tires,
        but I don't think that's the
        whole problem.

           The shocks are nice in some
           respects: riding down a dark,
           unfamiliar street, I can slam
           right into a pot hole without
           it being a disaster.

              In other respects though:
              they make the front end of
              the bike softer, so it
              kneels down a little when                   Nov 26, 2005:
              you slam on the brakes,                     It turns out that
              and the old fear of going                   these front shocks
              over the handlebars raises                  are even worse than
              it's head again.                            I thought.

              This mountain bike seems to                 Even with them
              have a little trouble stopping              cranked down as
              short, compared to my old                   stiff as I can
              hybrid.  Wonder why, eh?                    get them, I have
                                                          problems with
                                                          them suddenly
                 My current guess: seat                   "clicking through".
                 post shocks are good;
                 front fork shocks are                    The front-end
                 stupid.                                  likes to kneel
                                                          down suddenly
                                                          and throw me off
                                                          the bike: I've
                                                          wiped out twice
                                                          like this now.

                                                          This sudden
                                                          "click through"
                                                          behavior isn't
                                                          *completely*
                                                          unpredictable
                                                          though, it seems
                                                          to have something
                                                          to do with
                                                          braking (even
                                                          slightly) and
                                                          turning at the
                                                          same time.

                                                          (And it can happen
                                                          at almost any
                                                          speed, even going
                                                          at a walking pace.)

                                                          Now that I'm
                                                          conscious of it,
                                                          I seem to be
                                                          able to avoid it...


                                              We're still at a stage where
                                              it requires too much skill to
                                              ride a bike safely.

                                       (I haven't even mentioned
                                       doing the "bunny hop" to
                                       evade road hazards...)


And just to end on a "positive"
note, here's a problem that's
essentially been fixed now that
ergonomic seats are standard (or
close to it):

   The claim that cycling can cause male
   impotence is old news at this point,
   though I don't know of any definitive
   evidence one way or the other; but
   the new bike seat designs that have
   come out really are more comfortable,                 I switched to using a
   and it makes sense to switch to one                   Terry Liberator
   if you haven't already.                               in the early 2000s.

   But for years, before the                             This is an early
   "ergo seats" came out, the                            "ergo" seat design,
   standard seat designs were     (in fact, in my        so the gap in
   *clearly* really stupid.       opinion, the           the middle is big and
                                  standard design        obvious (which is
   It was not unusual for me      of bicycles            okay) and it rides
   to arrive somewhere feeling    overall is             a little hard, which
   like someone tried to kick     pretty stupid).        is less okay.
   me in the balls and only
   just missed...                                        Later products have
                                                         more shock absorption.
   I was riding a fairly typical
   hybrid, without any fancy rock
   shocks, and I even took to
   wearing padded shorts a lot,
   though that's always seemed
   like a really backwards         (Everyone's seen the
   solution to me.                 Dilbert take on the
                                   subject, right?
   In those days, I                "Great Solutions in
   met a number of                 Engineering History")
   women who seemed
   to think that bike                  Sport riders
   seats were                          love having
   designed to                         to change
   accommodate men                     into special
   only... in fact                     gear. Transpo
   they didn't seem                    riders hate it.
   to be designed for
   human beings.

            Thankfully -- as of 2007 -- I see that
            new bike models now come with "ergo"
            seats as standard.






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