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DESPERATE
(late 80s)
Plywood and
two by fours,
used books,
army surplus, CAVE
rust and dust...
The grunginess of my
cheap but functional
lifestyle turns off
many women.
But I know what to do about
it. Make some more money,
buy a new car, get some REALCHECK
more clothes, get a more
expensive hair cut, move to
a bigger place... All to
impress women I think are "That's unfair. Really women
fools for being impressed. just respect talent. People
with talent just happen to
have money."
Right. All women are
indifferent to merely
inherited wealth.
"Come on, some women are
interested in other things..."
Okay, let's try to be
positive. All good True but then,
libertarians know that I'm often
prostitution shouldn't be LIBERTY attracted to
illegal. Maybe there liberals who
isn't even anything wrong can't handle
with it. So then there's anyone who
nothing wrong with doesn't recite
disguised versions of it, Except the party
either, right? possibly, line.
the fact
So why not pair off with that they're TOLERANCE
someone with some material disguised?
advantages? Admirably So why not recite
practical, no? it? I know where
Then honesty the buttons are,
So why can't I get is the central why not push them?
used to this? If most issue? I don't even have
women want to play to lie, I just
whores, then I ought have to steer the
to be able to play the Unless it's conversation to
role of trick easily the _style_ of subjects where my
enough. Why don't I the disguise, opinions are in
either pay the price rather than agreement.
or forget about the the need for
deal and quit looking them... When a dangerous topic
for things that aren't comes up, all I need do
on the market? DECADENCE is remain silent.
By these lines the world seems divided: some seek
material wealth and some ideological purity. I have little of
either to offer.
If it comes down to a choice between
conservative whores, and liberal sluts
which will it be?
Third base. METHOD
There's a gap I'm not interested in
between my unattainable ideals.
ideals and
reality.
PROVIDENCE
I don't have much in
common with most
I seem stuck in a So which do I fix? people. Women I have
disgustingly Are my ideals out a lot in common with
conventional of touch with are even rarer.
moralistic mode. reality, or can There aren't too many
reality be brought female libertarian
more in line with cyberpunk rock
Terms like "slut" and my ideals? climbers around.
"whore" can be taken
as gender-neutral, SEARCHING
technical terms,
without negative
connotations. Sluts So maybe I should POLY
have sex when they abandon the notion
want to have sex, Personally, I of "having things
whores do it for think there aren't in common" with a
ulterior motives. enough sluts around. lover.
So is everyone a slut Am I so vain that
or a whore? I need to be
surrounded by
No: there are other RAND human mirrors?
logical possibilities
Like Slaves.
"Women make wonderful pets."
Maybe Romantics ---Michael Shane,
(sex-for-love) Private Detective
aren't exactly the HORSING
same as Whores.
And maybe Studs ((...talk about Not long ago I was shot
(show offs?) aren't the love/ down with the line "We
the same thing as lust dichotomy? are very different
Sluts. Nah. Too people." So, at the very
boring. Even least you need to have in
But why choose for me.)) LOVE common an appreciation
such loaded for differences.
terms if I PERM
really mean
something more True DECADENCE
neutral?
Decadence has been
Maybe I'm over dramatizing. defined as "the
elevation of style
How about some simple over substance." to
compromises? There's quote Barry
clothes I want anyway, Malzberg, who said
like a leather jacket. (Improve your it once, though not
When my car finally dies, marketability first.
I'll probably replace it by doing
with something like a things worth Maybe I'm a person
jeep or motorcycle. I doing anyway.) who likes to pose
could dust off some of my as being relentlessly
old short story attempts honest? Could it
and try to get them be that I don't
published. I could even (Or take a shower?) mind lies so much
clean my room. (Nah, too extreme.) as boring lies?
That conventional
There are prices I'd be hypocrisy bothers
willing to pay, if it got me just because it's
me somewhere worth being. conventional?
CONFORM
Looking for an image (ETHICS)
to assume that "... I wonder if I
doesn't violate my ought to tell them When you really get down
identity. GUISE about my PREVIOUS to it, I think that the
LIFE as a COMPLETE source of all our ideas
Trying to write a story STRANGER?" about ethics are really
that I can become the esthetic. When
protagonist of. philosphers try to
resolve ethical issues,
Esthetics the first "What if a doctor they always resort to
and final word? could save two hypothetical cases, i.e.
Then style is lives by taking telling stories. We
substance, and the vital organs from formulate principles to
"decadence" I sneer a third patient? generate artistically
at is choosing the Does that _seem_ satisfying endings.
wrong arbiter of right?"
style. Who is the
proper judge of the
style you live by?
Yourself. Maybe I've been
underdramatizing.
And maybe all of this
is too simple to mean
anything.
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