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FIRST_THINKS_FIRST


                                      October 14, 2002 

I was just thinking about
Gregory Benford's habit of           This is not a new         
re-writing after publication.        thought with me.          BENFORD
                                                      
Let's try to make the call,              (Certainly not a
thumbs up or thumbs down?                 first thought.)
                                                      
                                                And re-writing post-       
                                                publication is not a       
  First example:                                new thought from Benford...    
                                                                               
  Benford wrote a number of shorter                                        
  pieces that were later glued                  E.g. I understand 
  together into the novel                       that Walt Whitman re-
  "In the Ocean of Night".                      wrote "Leaves of Grass"
  Some of them were clearly chunks              many times.
  of the work in progress that                  
  Benford packaged up as stand-alones.          In the science fiction
                                                world, expanding a popular
  One short in particular was pretty            short into a novel is a
  clearly an independant work long              common enough practice.
  before he had any thoughts of the                
  novel.                                        In the "Jewel-Hinged Jaw",    
                                                Delany muses on the       
          I'll need to look up the              differing virtues of      
          title some time.  I think             Zelazny's "He Who Shapes"    
          it appeared in Galaxy (and            and it's expanded form    
          if I remember right, that             "Dreammaster".            
          was it's sole publication).                         
                                                   He decides to recommend
                                                   that people read both,
                                                   the short form first,
                                                   then the long form.
                          SPOILERS
                                                        Is that true in
                                                        the general case?
                                                
                                                        Not a bad rule
                                                        of thumb: read
                                                        the works in the
                                                        order the author
                                                        wrote them.
                                                        
                                                        Tracing the movement  
                                                        of a mind...  
                                                                    
                                                
    The short story was fairly simple           
    in conception.  Astronaut makes a           
    "first contact" with an                     
    intelligent alien space probe,             (I don't remember what
    and engages it in dialog                   dodge was used to get
                                               around the language
    The character of the astronaut             problem... probably
    isn't very thoroughly fleshed              the probe picked up
    out, nor do we know much about             english from studying
    his life -- I think his wife is            broadcasts for ages).
    mentioned, but only mentioned.             
                                               
        But despite this                           
        spare framework,    Or perhaps             
        the dialog with     *because*                
        the space probe     of it?         
        is astoundingly 
        powerful.       
                                           
           The probe was evidentally       
           not intended to be conscious,   
           this is just a by-product of     
           it's complexity.  It spends     
           centuries in isolation between  
           stars:                          
                                           
                 "Sometimes I scream       
                  in the night."           
                                           
                                           
           A similar situation --
           with much of the same
           dialog -- occurs in the
           novel "In the Ocean of
           Night".
                                           
               It works.                   
               It's a very good book.      
                                           
               But it doesn't quite have the same
               spooky, disturbing quality as the
               dialog in the short story.  
                                           
                    The more complex framework,
                    the heavier characterization,
                    the multiplication of themes...
                                           
                                Something                    

                                    robs                     
                                    distracts                
                                    wears                       
                                                   
                                      just a little          
                                      too much.                  
                                                        


  Second example:


  The novel "Across the Sea of Suns" was
  written as a follow on to "In the Ocean        I guess this is now
  of Night".                                     called the
                                                 "Galactic Series".
  I have no reservations at all          
  about this book.  If I sounded                 Myself I'd prefer a
  luke warm about "In the Ocean                  name more like
  of Night", let me make up for                        
  it with effusive praise for                       "The Watery Heavens"    
  this novel.                   
                                                                               
                                                 Or maybe                      
    Nigel Walmsley is getting old,                                             
    nearing the end of his career,                  "Flushed by the          
    and yet he manages to win                        the Gods" 
    a place on an interstellar     
    expedition, traveling with a     
    large crew -- in an environment  
    much like an O'Neil style space
    colony -- to a number of nearby
    star systems.                  
                                      

    Walmsley is greatly respected for his   
    experience, but he chooses to remain    
    something of an outsider in shipboard   
    politics, and despite lip service paid  
    to his wisdom, his opinions are usually 
    discounted in the heat of the moment.   
    He continually plays Cassandra to the   
    unresponsive ears the crew, who are all 
    lost in a kind of "group think", always 
    in danger of degenerating into a mob.   
                                            
    The central problem is that the         
    truth of what's really going on         
    is much too bleak for most people       
    to want to believe... humanity is       
    begining to encounter an extremely        Yes, similar
    powerful "machine" civilization           Saberhagen's
    that's hostile to all forms of            "Beserkers".
    biological life, with little hope         Except that the
    of sucess in the conflict.                Beserkers win.
                                           
                                                  I suspect, but don't
      One of the few science fiction novels       know, that Benford
      about an older protagonist.                 was thinking about
                                                  the Fermi paradox.
      One of the few stories of
      interstellar travel that does               Q: Why haven't we seen
      not cop out and postulate some              evidence of extra-
      sort of super-science faster-than-          terrestrial intelligence?
      light technology.
                                                  A: Because something is
      One of the few "tragic endings"             killing them.
      in Science Fiction, and one of    
      the few I've seen anywhere that                 
      works perfectly:                             Later novels in the    
                                                   series deal with      
         At the close of the novel the             humanity struggling    
         catastrophe has happened, the             as a conquered people,    
         humans are losing, Walmsley               barely surving as     
         and his partners are stranded             rats in the walls.     
         and almost certainly about to    
         die, and yet...  "for some   
         reason, he smiled."                                       
                                      
            Because he's been vindicated.                  In interviews,
            He has no solution, but he did                 Benford says
            grasp the problem before everyone              that this has
            else did.                                      to do with his
                                                           background as
            Because he's lived his life on                 a Southerner.
            his own terms, and managed to
            keep his hand in the game                      Southerner's      
            against pressure to retire and                 regard themselves
            relax.                                         as a conquered 
                                                           people, or so 
            What better finish for an                      he says. 
            explorer, than to die in the    
            unknown seas of an alien    
            planet?                     
                                                   

     And what better ending
     has a science fiction
     novel ever seen?

     Or *any* novel for that matter.

     I typically have problems with
     "Tragedy", but here it all works,                TAKEN_LIGHTLY
     everything that people say about                
     The Tragic -- sad, but uplifting,
     life-affirming, ennobling -- all
     makes sense to me here.


            So then Benford rewrote it.

            What I've been describing here is
            the first edition hardcover version
            that I originally read.

            There are newer editions out in
            paperback which I don't own, but
            flipping through them in the
            stores, I see that the ending is
            completely different.

            I gather that Benford decided he
            wanted to keep writing about Walmsley,        
            and instead of doing a cheesy surprise   
            resurrection he decided to prepare
            the way for it.
               
               By messing with the 
               ending of a total 
               masterpiece.        
                                   

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