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THE_MIST
June 23, 2006
During my mid-teens, being a writer
was my goal in life. To the extent
that I had any goals (outside of
the obvious ones).
Being an over-intellectualized
introvert, I was very interested Thankfully, I
in Kerouac's "spontaneous prose" was a little too
ideas; and I was both frustrated smart for the
with blocked writing projects, and alcohol trap.
had the feeling that my life was
in a rut (at the age of 16), so I
conceived of an experiment that
would address both problems:
I would attempt to write a mystery The working title
novel that took place in the for this "mystery
framework of my life; I would work novel" project And I haven't
fictional events into what had became "The Mist". lost any of
happened to me that day, and use my keen sense
the need for story material to of clever
drive me in different directions wordplay.
in my actual life.
A day dream written
down in installments. (There's a very common set-up in
Japanese anime: superheroes who--
A device to break for no apparent reason-- refuse to
a set pattern of abandon their secret identities as
behavior. high school kids.)
That particular experiment
ran into some problems, of But was it really
course. that silly a "If I want to go
scheme? Maybe around asking
I needed to take questions at
I was a kid who was it more seriously. random, I'll need
carefully keeping my a cover. Maybe I
head down in the should start an
Long Island suburban 'underground'
hell... there were It would be very school newspaper."
reasons for this. easy to dismiss
this isolation as
The rut that I excessive shyness--
was living in was certainly that's But the reasons I
only partially of how I regarded it was keeping my
my own creation, at the time. head down were
much of it was perhaps not such
the usual school bad reasons.
regimentation.
There's a Fitzgerald line:
What are the odds "The true artist lives
that I would his life like a spy in
suddenly find ways enemy territory."
to deviate from
this for *secret* And he wrote that
reasons? line before they
invented suburbia!
And those reasons would be
incomprehensible without And at least The
lengthy explaination, and Artist has a name
dismissed as irrational or for what they are.
insane once explained.
THE_IRON_KEY
It was the beginning of
"social studies" class.
There had been a fight I caught a glimpse
in the hall that people of this fight on my
were still talking about. way in the door:
some pudgy, nerdy
Things had calmed down, guys who weren't at
and the bell had just all known as "bad
rung, but the teacher kids" were going at
was still standing in it, rolling around
the doorway. He on the floor.
mentioned that there was
actually blood on the Red-faced.
floor. Clumsy.
I stood up out of my seat,
walked across the room and
shouldered past him to look
down the hall. He looked
In High momentarily stunned-- I There was indeed,
School, was technically breaking a tiny little
standing the rules, and I wasn't puddle of blood,
up and someone he'd expect to do thick-looking,
walking this. bright red against
around the drab greenish
can be Then, as I returned to my speckled tiles.
a radical seat, he commented, with
act. his usual cynical sarcasm, The buckets of
"Yes, the sight of blood blood disappeared
How is it usually does bring out the from my murder
possible crowds." scene. That
to create understated puddle
a free, I smiled weakly and sat down, was so much better.
engaged while the other kids were no
citizenry doubt wondering about my (But despite scenes
with this behavior-- I described briefly of violence like
sort of what I'd seen to the guy next this, I still had
system? to me. trouble coming up
with a motive for a
(And retroactively high school murder
converted any curiosity strong enough that
about me into curiosity I could believe in
about the blood.) it.)
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