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                                      October 14, 2002

I was just thinking about
Gregory Benford's habit of           This is not a new
re-writing after publication.        thought with me.          BENFORD

Let's try to make the call,              (Certainly not a
thumbs up or thumbs down?                 first thought.)

                                                And re-writing post-
                                                publication is not a
  First example:                                new thought that Benford
                                                invented:
  Benford wrote a number of shorter
  pieces that were later glued                  Walt Whitman rewrote
  together into the novel "In the               "Leaves of Grass" many
  Ocean of Night".                              times.

  Some of them were                             In the science fiction
  obviously chunks of the                       world, expanding a popular
  work in progress that                         short into a novel is a
  Benford packaged up as                        common enough practice.
  stand-alones.
                                                In the "Jewel-Hinged Jaw",
  One short in particular was                   Delany muses on the
  definitely an independant                     differing virtues of
  work long before he had any                   Zelazny's "He Who Shapes"
  thoughts of the novel.                        and it's expanded form
                                                "Dreammaster".
          I'll need to look up the
          title some time.  I think                He decides to recommend
          it appeared in Galaxy (and               that people read both,
          if I remember right, that                the short form first,
          was it's sole publication).              then the long form.

                          SPOILERS
                                                        Is that true in
                                                        the general case?

                                                        Not a bad rule
                                                        of thumb: read
                                                        the works in the
                                                        order the author
                                                        wrote them.

                                                           Tracing the
                                                           movement of
                                                           a mind...


    This short story was
    fairly simple in
    conception.  Astronaut
    makes a "first contact"       (I don't remember what dodge was
    with an intelligent alien     used to get around the language
    space probe, and engages      problem... probably the probe
    it in dialog.                 picked up English by studying
                                  broadcasts for decades.)
    The character of the
    astronaut isn't very
    thoroughly fleshed out,
    nor do we know much about
    his life -- I think his
    wife is mentioned, but
    only mentioned.

        But despite this
        spare framework,    Or perhaps
        the dialog with     *because*
        the space probe     of it?
        is astoundingly
        powerful.

           The probe was evidently
           not intended to be conscious,
           this is just a by-product of
           it's complexity.  It spends
           centuries in isolation between
           stars:

                 "Sometimes I scream
                  in the night."


           A similar situation --
           with much of the same
           dialog -- occurs in the
           novel "In the Ocean of
           Night".

               It works.
               It's a very good book.

               But it doesn't quite have the
               same haunting quality as the
               dialog in the short story.

                    The more complex framework,
                    the heavier characterization,
                    the multiplication of themes...

                                Something

                                    robs
                                    distracts
                                    wears

                                      just a little
                                      too much.



  Second example:


  The novel "Across the Sea of Suns" was
  written as a follow on to "In the Ocean        I guess this is now
  of Night".                                     called the
                                                 "Galactic Series".
  I have no reservations at all
  about this book.  If I sounded                 Myself I'd prefer a
  luke warm about "In the Ocean                  name more like
  of Night", let me make up for
  it with effusive praise for                       "The Watery Heavens"
  this novel.
                                                 Or maybe

    Nigel Walmsley is getting old,                  "Flushed by the
    nearing the end of his career,                   the Gods"
    and yet he manages to win                                     
    a place on an interstellar                                             
    expedition, traveling with a                 (It seems like at some    
    large crew -- in an environment              point this was renamed   
    much like an O'Neill style space             the "Galactic Center" 
    colony -- to a number of nearby              series.)              
    star systems.                                
                                                 
    Walmsley is greatly respected for his        
    experience, but he chooses to remain         
    something of an outsider in shipboard
    politics, and despite lip service paid
    to his wisdom, his opinions are usually
    discounted in the heat of the moment.
    He continually plays Cassandra to the
    unresponsive ears the crew, who are all
    lost in a kind of "group think", always
    in danger of degenerating into a mob.

    The central problem is that the
    truth of what's really going on is
    much too bleak for most people to
    want to believe... humanity is
    beginning to encounter an extremely       Similar to 
    powerful "machine" civilization           Saberhagen's
    that's hostile to all forms of            "Beserkers".
    biological life, and the humans
    have little hope of any success in        Except that
    the conflict.                             here the
                                              Beserkers win.

                                                  I suspect that Benford
      One of the few science fiction novels       was thinking about the
      about an older protagonist.                 Fermi paradox.

      One of the few stories of                   Q: Why haven't we seen
      interstellar travel that does               evidence of extra-
      not cop out and postulate some              terrestrial intelligence?
      sort of super-science faster-than-
      light technology.                           A: Because something is
                                                  killing them.
      One of the few "tragic endings"
      in Science Fiction, and one of                Later novels in the
      the few I've seen anywhere that               series deal with
      works perfectly:                              humanity struggling
                                                    as a conquered people,
         At the close of the novel the              barely surving as
         catastrophe has happened, the              rats in the walls.
         humans are losing, Walmsley
         and his partners are stranded                     In interviews,
         and almost certainly about to                     Benford says
         die, and yet...  "for some                        that this has
         reason, he smiled."                               to do with his
                                                           background as
            Because he's been vindicated.                  a Southerner.
            He has no solution, but he
            understood the problem before                  A large chunk
            anyone else did.                               of the United
                                                           States regards
            Because he's lived his life on                 itself as a
            his own terms, and managed to                  conquered
            keep his hand in the game                      territory, a
            against pressure to retire and                 subject people.
            relax.
                                                           Or so Benford
            What better finish for an                      says.
            explorer, than to die in the
            unknown seas of an alien
            planet?

     And what better ending
     has a science fiction
     novel ever seen?

     Or *any* novel for that matter.

     I frequently have problems with
     "tragedy", but here it all works,                LEAR
     everything that people say about
     The Tragic -- sad, but uplifting,
     life-affirming, ennobling -- all
     makes sense to me here.


            So then Benford rewrote it.

            What I've been describing here
            is the first edition hardcover
            that I originally read.

            There are newer editions out in
            paperback which I don't own, but
            flipping through them in the
            stores, I see that the ending is
            completely different.

            I gather that Benford decided he
            wanted to keep writing about Walmsley,
            and instead of doing a cheesy surprise
            resurrection he decided to prepare
            the way for it.

               By messing with the
               ending of a total
               masterpiece.


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