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BACKING_IN


                                               April 2000

In DANGER, I said:

   I sat down with my back to
   her.  That was a policy I'd
   adopted recently: always sit
   with your back to beautiful
   women.  If you don't do that
   you're always fighting your
   impulse to stare at them,
   and it's typically just
   really embarrassing.

No woman I've ever told this
story to has understood this.
Every one of them seems to have
this romantic script in mind that
goes something like this:
      
   A man and a womman look up at
   each other at the same time,    
   their eyes meet, they smile    
   at each other.  He moves     
   over closer to her.  They    
   begin to talk together.      
                          
   
Try this as a more realistic
scenario: 
          
     She realizes that he's     
     staring at her, and looks  
     up.  Startled at being     
     caught, he suddenly looks  
     down, realizes this looks  
     lame, then forces himself  
     to look back up.  She's    
     then startled and looks    
     back down.  Both of them   
     look really nervous to     
     each other, and their      
     nervousness feeds off of   
     each other.                
                                
In all likelyhood that's it,    
end of story.  But let's say he's 
more determined (experienced?) 
than that: 
   
     He tries to decide if she looks
     nervous because she doesn't    
     like him or because she        
     does.  Then thinks "What the   
     hell, nothing ventured --"     
     and tries to pysche himself    
     up to look confident, get up,  
     walk around the table, and     
     say... Uh, say what?           
                                    
     "Hi, sorry about staring at    
     you like that, but you're      
     looking very beautiful         
     tonight." Yeah right, that's   
     going to go over well.  But    
     when you're drawing a blank,   
     what can you do but say the    
     obvious?                             Actually the other thing 
                                          you can do is recite a line. 
                                          
     Okay, let's try it.  He gets         To my knowledge, there are 
     up, starts to move towards.          no standard pick-up lines  
     She sees him coming, thinking        appropriate for use in a 
     "Oh, no, this is it.  What if        a coffee house setting. 
     he's a psycho, has rabies,           
     works for Microsoft--" etc.                "Can I buy you a drink?"
     She looks a hell of a lot                  "Do you want to dance?" 
     like someone who doesn't want                                      
     to hear from any strange men.                        LINES
     He forces out his one line                                
     more than a little awkwardly.  
     She says "Uh, thanks. That's   
     okay."  And the blank grows    
     even blanker, the silence      
     grows rapidly into a void,     
     and he says "Well see you      
     around", and shuffles back to  
     his table.                     
   
Now imagine it the other way around:
   
     You see a woman you're      
     interested in, so you sit   
     down close to her, *but* you
     sit with your back to her.  
     You're thereby:             
                                 
     (1) putting out conflicting     
     signals, acting both         
     interested and uninterested. 
     If you sat facing her it     
     would be *immediately*       
     apparent what you were about,
     you'd be telling her that she
     had hooked you.  On the other    At least I'm pretty 
     hand, if you can work out a      sure that this is how 
     dance like "one step closer,     it works.  I'm not very 
     one step back" you may be        good at these kind of 
     able to "hook" her.              power games myself, but 
                                      I've seen other guys 
                                      in action who are, and 
                                      "driving the hook in" 
                                      is something they 
                                      seem to excel at.         HOOK         
   
                                         It's hard to get away        
                                         from the idea that if        
                                         you've got to play a         
                                         game like this there's       
                                         just nothing there worth     
                                         winning...                   
                                                                      
                                              But then, elements like
                                              this have a way of creeping
                                              their way into the heads
                                              of even the best people.
                                              Ignoring the "power game"
                                              aspect of things entirely
                                              is probably a mistake.
   
                                              "You just need to act      FEAR
                                              interesting and aloof."   
   
                                              Well there you go.  What's
                                              more aloof than presenting
                                              your back?
   
   
    (2) putting yourself within easy                                    
    conversational range.                                               
                                                                        
    This is the really key thing:                                       
    If you're really going to                                           
    try laying a line on a woman you                                    
    haven't been introduced to, you                                     
    need to do it "casually".  It's                The need to appear   
    a lot easier to speak casually                 casual is probably   
    to somone if you're already                    another manifestation
    inside their space bubble.  Sit                of the power game... 
    with two tables and an aisle between                                
    you, and you're going to have to                                    
    shout across the gap.  Sit on the                                   
    aisle, and you can just turn around                                 
    and deliver your lines from half                                    
    the distance.                                                       
                                                                        
    This also makes it a lot easier to go                               
    back for additional attempts:                                     
    "Excuse me, would you have a pen I                                  
    could borrow?"; "Hey, do you know                                   
    what time it is -- oh there's a clock                               
    right in front of me!"; "Do you know                                
    if the Mocha's are any good here?";                                 
    "By the way, could I lick your                                      
    spoon?"                                                             




But then, it's not clear how 
any of this applies to the 
boy-meets-girl story I was 
telling... except that              DANGER
maybe I "hooked" someone by    
accident with this manuever. 
And if I'd done it any other 
way, maybe I'd have scared her 
away, and made our second meeting 
awkward to deal with. 


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